Things That Only Happen in East London
22 January, 2016
“When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life”, Samuel Johnson once said. To paraphrase the celebrated writer, we can highly recommend delving into some of the outlandish activities that could only take place north-east of the Thames.
A Café that Only Sells Cereals
What can I tell you about the latest major hipster phenomenon in London that you don’t already know?
It looked like they had finally got rid of them. Around a hundred anarchists from the activist group, Class War, who set out to combat inequality, attacked the Cereal Killer Café last September. However, not only has the establishment emerged unscathed from the attack, it continues to draw long queues of patrons at its front door. How long the truce holds remains to be seen, although what on earth could be more innocuous than a Chocapics seller? Problem is, the 5-euro bowls of cereal in this unique café have grown into a symbol of the drama of gentrification besetting London.
However, you are sure to find so many cereal combinations that you’ll be able to eat for months without repeating any of them. They offer no fewer than 100 cereal varieties, 12 types of milk and 20 different toppings!
Here is the statement which Class War put out when calling for action against Cereal Killer Café:
“Our communities are being ripped apart – by Russian oligarchs, Saudi Sheiks, Israeli scumbag property developers, Texan oil-money twats and our own home-grown Eton toffs.
Local authorities are coining it in, in a short-sighted race for cash by regenerating social housing. We don't want luxury flats that no one can afford, we want genuinely affordable housing. We don't want pop-up gin bars or brioche buns – we want community.
Soon this City will be an unrecognizable, bland, yuppie infested wasteland with no room for normal (and not so normal) people like us. London is our home. Working class people are being forced out of our homes but we won't go out without a fight."
Protest video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhUT2YDDa6Q
The Hot Tub Cinema
40 degrees and oodles of champagne! Welcome to the most bizarre cinema in all London… the Hot Tub Cinema!
The intrepid cinema-goers daring enough to plunge into this unforgettable experience can choose from a host of inflatable tubs set out on the rooftop of the former Shoreditch station.
The dress-code, as you can imagine, is a bathing suit. But, if you really want to fit the occasion, the thing is to sport a 90s swimming costume, as only classics are shown in this cinema.
And, here goes the lowdown you were all waiting for… yes, the hot tubs are communal, and can hold up to six people!
A Cat Café
Walking into Lady Dinah’s Cat Emporium is like stepping into the Internet. This is London’s first ever cat café, the haunts of twelve friendly feline creatures, all rescued from sanctuaries. The venue is in the popularBrick Laneprecinct and is becoming all the rage, so much so that you are advised to book ahead. Otherwise, you would be hard put to find a free table.
Perfect Your Zumba in the Neighbourhood Church
Think you could tone your gluteal muscles while purifying your spirit? Could there be any better form of redemption than to practise Zumba in a church? For those of you who have lost their faith, for further information, see here.
I bet you are taken aback by these proposals. But, there’s more to come, although we’ll leave that for another post. If you want to see it for yourself, starting packing your bags and check out our flights here.
Text and images by Isa Roldán for ISABELYLUIS Comunicación
22 January, 2016